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This short story is a work of fiction and bears no relation to existing people or events.

Drowned Americans Watching TV at the Bottom of the Aegean
(short story)

by drs. Efthimia Dilpizoglou
(c) 2016 all rights reserved
referenced works are (c) to their respective creators

The Not-So-Genteel Catlady wearing her mermaid costume dives all the way to the bottom of the Aegean, as deep as she can go. The Catlady Catfishlady feels a strong urge to take a bite from her fishtail.  Instead she flaps her tail harder and harder and away from her to avoid the tempting smell of fish. Reaching the bottom of the sea she finds the bloated sunken  corpses of drowned American refugees and an old TV set, likely a unit that accidentally fell of a Chinese container shipment. She turns on the TV which is fully functional even at the bottom of the Aegean, and watches the following music video –>

 

All of this is possible because the waters farther than 200 nautical miles from shore are generally outside of national jurisdiction and largely beyond government control. More than 40 percent of the planet’s surface is covered by water that belongs to everyone and no one, and is relatively lawless and unregulated.

Over the next two years, though, the United Nations intends to change this reality. After nearly a decade of discussion, it ratified a resolution in June to begin drafting the first treaty to protect biodiversity on the high seas.

The agreement will create a formal process for setting aside protected marine areas in international waters. Unlike on land, there is no legal framework on the high seas for creating areas that are off-limits to commercial activity. The treaty will also create procedures for environmental impact assessments and establish a method for the public to be informed about large-scale projects in these waters, including fishing, seabed mining, shipping, research and other activities.

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/02/sunday-review/protecting-the-untamed-seas.html?_r=0

AlexAnimalCruelty

“Is that a fish in a plastic bag in the water?” wonders the Catfishlady. “I should inform the animal rights organizations about this.”

AlexAnimalCruelty2

“Is that man holding a fish in his mouth?”, wonders the Catfishlady. “Now I am really getting hungry. Delicious fish.”. She puts her tail in her mouth and holds it there, using all her willpower to keep herself from biting through. “I should inform the animal rights organizations about this.”, she says robotically.

“That bandaged figure…” she says, pointing at the character identified as The Mummy in the credits, “Someone must’ve been watched Goodnight Mommy at the last edition of the Thessaloniki Film Festival. Either that or they must’ve bought the Almodovar loss-leader DVD with that newspaper.”

AlexTetsuoRipoff

“Yeah, yeah, I know every film nerd on the planet is obsessed with Tetsuo, whatever.”, says the Catfishlady rolling her eyes to the back of her eyesockets, showing only the white of a fish eye getting popped in the process of being cooked.

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