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The following poem is a work of fiction and political satire and bears no relationship to existing people or events.

I don’t shake hands with fascists (poem for Ismo)
by drs. Efthimia Dilpizoglou
(c) 2015 all rights reserved

Imagine: you’re a Dutch rapper
Who won’t shake hands with queers
Queer in this context doesn’t mean faggot
But rather a person who’s insincere
Everyone’s a queer at the Public Prosecution Service
They might make you shake hands with faggots
Stick the same hand you just shook into a queer
And say:
“Gee, I never knew gay fisting was such fun.
Nu wil ik meer.
Thank you judge.
Thank you mister prosecutor.
And thank you cops for making that clear.”

If you wanna say “fuck the queen”
I won’t let you win
It’s so obscene
Your freedom of speaking
Cos we’ve got cops and dogs
We’ve got cops and dogs

If you wanna say “fuck the king”
I’ll drop by, dingaling
Raid your home indict your ass
Now you need some lawyering
Cos we’ve got cops and dogs
We’ve got cops and dogs

See a rich pedophile raping kids in style
Shut your mouth
Don’t say nothing
Or we’ll put you away a while
Defamation laws got the backs of all these bitches
The long arm of the law doesn’t reach where their dick reaches
All the Dutch kids say yeah
#fuck_the_cops #fuckyeah
Fuck a princess fuck a prince
Fuck me here no fuck me there
Middlefingers in the air
Lying in court without a care
Wanna say what’s on your mind
This is Holland don’t you dare

Imagine: you’re an Arab rapper
Who’s read Norman Finkelstein
And thinks Jews are worse than Nazis
But then you met the Dutch themselves
And had to change your mind on this
Oh no fuck no bro no
Why put a Jew in this rhyme yo
Go find an eraser
Before the cops read this
And burst in with a taser
With everything that’s already been said about Jews
Over the past two decades by every gawddamn American rapper in the States
Does a Jew really give a rat’s ass
Whether I call them worse than Nazis
Or instead write a poem
About how I’d love to line them up to suck their dicks
Hey, as a woman I know it’s a given
That I have to suck yours and many others for a living
Or would that too get me apprehended
For public insult
Public indecency
Fucking the republic publicly
Don’t claim you wouldn’t be offended
If I bended over
Told you I rented
Space in my ass
A hefty discount just for you
So all your money wouldn’t be spended
No one fucks ass like you do
Just ask the Jewish lawyer from Tarzana, California
Who served me in that earlier poem I wrote
He will confirm it’s absolutely true
With all these snowflakes mistaking insult for assault
What should we call it when the Public Prosecution Service
At the request of 4 assholes out of millions of viewers
Criminalizes you
Indicts you
Wasting tax payer money to do so
Sees all the charges dropped in court
And says: Aaa well (AAA SHIT)
Looks like you’re free to go kiddo
I know you’ve watched The Lives of Others
The brain-washing mechanism
Is psychological terrorism
Through frivolous malicious persecution
Inducing self-censorship
When inside your head
You’ve built your own prison
I don’t shake hands with fascists
I see no difference between prosecutors and the Stasis
But we’re supposed to write happy songs
And act like living amongst fascist censors is a trip
To the land of hashpipes and hippies
All of whom already died of cancer
Now my hood is gentrified by yuppies
I don’t do drugs but
I might have to get a bong too and hit it
Next time a rapper gets indicted again for saying bullshit with precious snowflakes claiming they’re offended
Do you think we’re here
Because we acknowledge your fascist authority?
Look up poverty
Would my Greek ass be here
If I wasn’t up to my nose in debt
With Dijsselbloem breathing in my ear
Telling me I gotta pay him before I pay the rent
I know you hate my criminal immigrant ass
Wished I’d never met you either
But, believe me, I too
I would rather be a crazy ass punk back home
Then come here and annoy you with merely breathing
I know you want to be left alone
How the fuck can you expect me to say this the nice way
When I was here 25 years and all you could think of doing with me was putting me away
I am no different from you
And you are no better than me
All we wanna do is make a shitload of money
(“Doekoe, doekoe, dat is wat ik zie”)
And never again will you ever be hearing from me
Why would you try to stop a kid
From using music to make some money
Making him get lawyers
And feed his money back
Into the legal SLAPP-suit industry
I am a feminist woman
When Americans came over here rapping about raping bitches & hoes
All you Dutch fuckers were cool with that
And didn’t give a shit
Tell me
How many rappers did you indict back then
For insulting and threatening women
That’s right
Not a single one
I say doubledutchfuck your sexist shit man
Since when is a Jew or a homo more important than a woman
Think I can’t see right through your self-righteous bullshit
Can’t see you’re making up excuses to harass this kid
I could write another 1000 poems
About fucking Jews hard and fisting homos
None of which would be a true account of what I really do
I just wanna speak my mind like this kid does
So what the fuck am I supposed to do
With government fascists like you
Lurking at my blog 24/7
Fuck you and your cyberwatch crew
Do I have to quote NIN again
Saying I know you’re reading this right now
Thinking it’s about you
How I’d starfuck and incorporate my hand inside you
Is it because this kid
Gave you a piece of his mind
And you have nothing to throw back at him
That you hide your stupidity behind an indictment
Expecting me to only write poems about Jewish ass-rimming
Will you indict me again
For telling you to your faces
That drives you to hate raps like this —>


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