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The following part of this blog entry is pure fiction. No relation to existing people or events is implied.

NSFW; contains adult themes.

Say anything (short story, fiction)
by drs. Efthimia Dilpizoglou
(c) 2015 all rights reserved

The ugly girl with the purple gray hair types: “I love you, please talk to me”, then deletes that sentence. Instead she types some bullshit about wanting to do play-piercings on an erect penis. She asks him to send her a picture of his member and he instantly obliges. The ugly girl with the purple gray hair fires up her favourite editing program, The Gimp with the Crooked Linux, and adds a number of fake needles to the home porn she’s just received, dripping fake blood all over the icky mess. Upon reception he praises the result. He doesn’t even have his ears pierced.

“I will say anything, anything, anything, to keep you talking to me.”, she types, and then deletes that sentence. Instead she makes up a bunch of bullshit about owning whips and ropes and clamps and  doing home sessions with her girlfriend. Every lonely boy on the internet with a bondage fetish is intrigued at girls doing girls. Facebook is a free-for-all Kink.com if you know where to look for these girls. He thought he’d hit gold after all these years.

“I want the undivided attention of your blue eyes.” she types, then hates herself for writing down something so tacky and semi-half-assed poetic. Fuck, if she goes on like this, she might as well send him a link to that stupid Limp Bizkit cover and get it over with. She deletes it. More bullshit about erotic asphyxation and choking men with her bare hands. She couldn’t mercy kill some roadkill if she had to.

The not-so-genteel cat-lady pops up in another chat window. “She claims on her wall that she is married to a woman, is this more bullshit posturing on her part or is she really a lesbian married to a woman?”.

“Yep”, he types and closes the window. Investigative, probing puss. Not now.

The chat window pops back up again. “Oh, wonderful, a lesbian who confesses her extreme S&M fantasies to some guy on the internet instead of having a nice hot&horny session with her, um, pretend-wife? I’m sorry, your friend is such an asshole and you, Sir, are a complete dumbass.”

He really doesn’t want to manage two chats in between his crotch. He clicks away the cat-lady, who comes back up with a vengeance and her seven cats hissing at him. “Believe you me, Sir, her girlfriend was probably reading along with all the bullshit she was feeding you over the chat, and laughing all the way. You don’t need these people in your life. There are people who will love you and accept you. These people are not interested in your emotional or physical well-being.”. A link to a Youtube video follows. It’s that Lauryn Hill song again. “Don’t be a hardrock when you’re really a gem, baby girl”. “I can totally see why people call her “γλυκούλα.” says the cat-lady, followed by a puke sticker. “Look! Greek rhyme!” she jokes. He ignores her.

“You and I are so alike.”, he types. The ugly girl with the purple gray hair responds with: “Υπέροχος είσαι! heart-emoticon “. He just told her his abduction fantasy, his great secret that he had never told anyone before. He doesn’t even have a car.

The cat-lady, no more paws, all claws on the keyboard, posts a link to the song Liar, which startles him somewhat because of the implicit serendipity. “I told her: GOOD BYE AND FUCK YOU TOO, LIAR, POSEUR, PRETENDER and above all MAJOR HYPOCRITE. I know an abuser when I see one, that woman is an abuser. She publishes all her work on a website filled with the work of rape apologists, yet she calls you a rapist? Look at you, you’d rather hurt yourself before hurting anyone else.”. He wishes the catty ranting would stop. The ugly girl with the purple gray hair continues brainstorming up one crazy fantasy after another. She types that she would like to break a cat’s neck just to watch the bone protrude, which instantly makes him feel better. He closes his eyes and images his new heroine breaking the neck of the cat-lady, them together watching the bone protrude, holding hands inside a hot pot so close to boiling point, spilling over.

“She’s got a noose around your neck.”, warns the cat-lady. He looks down down at his skinny legs, down at the ropes. “NO, THE NOOSE ISN’T THERE, IT’S THERE, THERE, AROUND YOUR NECK!”. Puss in caps. Loud puss. Loud puss must shut up.

This reminds me of ‘When Josh raped Shelley’.“, complains the cat-lady. “I am watching that same trainwreck all over again with different people.”.
“I will be your accident if you will be my ambulance/And I will be your screech and crash if you will be my crutch and cast.”, he types.
“Got you where I want you motherfucker. You are every motherfucker who wouldn’t look at me.”, thinks the ugly purple gray haired girl. “I am so in love with you.”, she types and deletes it.

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