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Monthly Archives: November 2014

Let me be your drag-king!
Flix.gr’s behind-the-scenes special of Alexander Voulgaris’ upcoming
Greek “Terminator 2” feature Νήμα
by drs. Efthimia Dilpizoglou
(c) 2014 all rights reserved

I was sent a link to Flix.gr’s article about Alexander Voulgaris’ upcoming feature movie Νήμα (“String of Yarn”), which includes a behind-the-scenes promo that his Flix.gr groupies shot on the Νήμα set during the last days of shooting before the film went into post-production. Visit this page to see the behind-the-scenes special at the bottom of the page:

http://www.flix.gr/articles/the-boy-nima-shooting.html

Alexander Voulgaris’ blonde assistant director insists that this movie will be “the most sensitive movie ever made in the history of Greek film” (“η πιο τρυφερή ταινία που γυρίστηκε ποτέ στο ελληνικό σινεμά”), whereas Voulgaris himself claims, in all seriousness and without a trace of irony or humility, that his upcoming movie will be, get this, the Greek “Terminator 2“! Alexander’s Flix.gr groupies, obviously enamoured and spell-bound by their on-set visit and having been given the behind-the-scenes scoop, can hardly contain their enthusiasm and write that it’s “one of those movies you would like to see right now if only that were possible” (“μια από τις ταινίες που θα ήθελες αν γινόταν να δεις τώρα”). This is the usual pre-release hype that Flix.gr builds around Alexander Voulgaris’ movies only to disappoint everyone who gets to see the lackluster end-result. One of the readers’ comments right below the behind-the-scene promo says it all:

http://www.flix.gr/articles/the-boy-nima-shooting.html#comment-1685837152
This comment shows that Greek film-fans are aware of the fact that Flix.gr have always hyped up Alexander’s movies in order to create a pre-screening buzz. Greek film-fans will remember how Flix.gr hyped the living daylights out of Alexander’s 2012 craptastic sci-fi/horror/art-house/WTF-mess of a hybrid movie Higuita, ensuring him a sold-out house at the Thess Film Festival for the premiere, which turned out to be a huge disappointment with people constantly walking out on the film and critics’ overwhelmingly scathing reviews in the following days. I say let them fall into the trap they’ve dug for themselves with their pompous comments about making a Greek Terminator 2, because you know Alexander’s The String of Yarn movie will sell-out whether it’s crap or not, due to his sheer popularity amongst the Athenian hipster quotient who will flock to his movie in droves. I recommend people pull a Marilyn Manson on Alex and do some drugs before the premiere of Νήμα to spare themselves another Higuita-style disappointment.

Having seen the behind-the-scenes promo, I have this to say, and I direct this comment particularly to the blonde assistant director, who apparently has no problem associating herself with a child pornography and pedophilia apologist:

Anyone who writes song-lyrics about, and I quote from his song “feel safe”, released on a record that Alexander Voulgaris has characterized as “my most personal record, the only record I want everyone who knows me well to listen to” (“συνεχίζει να είναι ο πιο προσωπικός μου δίσκος… και ο μοναδικός που πραγματικά θα με ένοιαζε να τον ακούσει κάποιος που με γνωρίζει.”):

Getting my shit ready to pump opposite of little girls photos.
Cumming in a coffee cup.
Don’t wanna mess things up.
Cooking is something that I like these days

Source:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atx0i9zmjec

Anyone who writes song-lyrics about “getting my shit ready to pump opposite of little girls photos” and cooking with his load is NEVER going to make “the most sensitive movie ever made in the history of Greek film”. NEVER. “…cause I am a fuckin tender teddy bear ready to die in his sleep.”, my ass. “School fucks with teenage queens. Thoughts like that considered sins. “, “I whisper to a kid’s ear that I’ll always remember my first kiss in her front porch.”,  um, is that a teddy bear or rather a pedo-bear he’s singing about in that song? I love it whenever I quote all these lyrics to people, lyrics from a record Alexander Voulgaris said is his “most personal”, and they still insist “he’s just being sarcastic”. People just don’t want to see what’s blatantly obvious. The guy is a pedophilia and child pornography apologist, period. Childrapists don’t molest children because they are “sensitive”, but because they are the very definition of insensitivity and selfishness.

Anyone who lists the de facto banned criminal child pornography movie Maladolescenza as one of his favourite movies is NEVER going to make “the most sensitive movie ever made in the history of Greek film”. NEVER.

Anyone who is being flippant on Facebook about Woody Allen raping his 7 year old daughter with sick ‘jokes’ such as “Woody Allen fucks hard, just ask his daughter.” is NEVER going to make “the most sensitive movie ever made in the history of Greek film”. NEVER.

And how dare he bring up the Terminator 2. Some nerve this guy has. Compare this behind-the-scenes promo on Flix.gr to all the behind-the-scenes videos on Youtube from when James Cameron was shooting the Terminator 2 in the late 1980s. Do you see the Terminator 2 here? I hope Cameron sues him for false advertising. Almost a quarter of a century or 24 years later, the character of Sarah Connor in Terminator 2 is still the most progressive most feminist female character I have seen in any movie, American or foreign, and the only female character I have ever identified myself with as a teenager having to sit through movies with women I did not want to be. Terminator 2 was the only movie that made me go: “I want to be her when I grow up.”. It was the first time I saw a woman in a film who was completely different from all the women I had seen up to then. Terminator 2 is also one of the few movies I have ever seen where no one really dominates. The cyborg who was on the poster really doesn’t, Sarah doesn’t and her son doesn’t. In the Terminator 2 everyone, male, female, young, old, human, cyborg, meatware, software, hardware, the past, the present and the future, they all bond together and allign against a common enemy, the Skynet shape-shifting industrial petro-chemical war-machine that wants to wipe out human life. I don’t think Europeans can phathom how totally against Americans’ hegemonic androcentric sexist perception and understanding a movie like that goes, having been brainwashed their entire lives that someone, invariably a man, always has to be “The Boss” dominating the narrative and overshadowing everyone else. Suffice to say, Terminator 2 is one of my favourite sci-fi movies ever, and anyone who brings up the Terminator 2 is getting fucking personal with me.

Totally disappointed to see that actress Sofia Kokkali agreed to be in this creepy movie because I really liked her having seen her in Alexander’s dad’s Little England last year and sincerely had high hopes for her as a promising young actress. Kokkali doesn’t know what she’s getting herself into. She even admits in the video she had a hard time interpreting both leading roles, that of a mother growing up in the 1970s and her son, a teengaged boy growing up in the 1990s. Only a few female actresses have what it takes to convincingly perform a man, and I don’t expect Alexander Voulgaris’ usual experiments with ADR, like replacing all of Kokkali’s lines as a teenaged boy with a male voice actor, are going to improve her performance, which she herself admits was “difficult”. I know Alexander Voulgaris is obsessed with Kubrick, but I just don’t see Kokkali as his Peter Sellers. I even suspect that Alexander Voulgaris is hiding his sexism and misogyny behind a respected female actress. Remember, boys and girls in film-school, we are talking about the guy who brags on his Facebook wall about making violent S&M porn featuring decapitated women the likes of this (NSFW, graphic). And since we’re bringing up the 1990s, anyone still remember The Prodigy’s Smack My Bitch Up video? It’s a tried and true trick of the sexists to hide their sexism behind female performers. The question is, why do women allow themselves to be used in this way? Surely an actress like Sofia Kokkali would’ve had better offers following Little England?

For those of you poor sods who are actually looking forward to this movie because you bought into the pre-release hype about it being the Greek Terminator 2, let’s hope Alexander Voulgaris uses whatever money he has left from the 90 000 in film-funding he received from the Greek government to hire himself some unemployed Greek CGI and Adobe Premiere wizards, because what I am seeing in Flix.gr’s behind-the-scenes special can be summarized as some lame-ass art-school attempt at filming Chuck Palahniuk’s short story “Guts” with Sofia Kokkali as a pimple-faced drag-king on a depressing abandoned pre-schooler TV studio set with a dead plant in the background. Who is willing to bet all their Greek debt in a hedge fund that Alex will reverse that footage of the leaves dropping in post-production as a low-budget attempt at making it look “cooler”? You need much more than that to achieve “cool” these days, even more than much more to bring a movie like Terminator 2 into the conversation.

Or is this drag-king act Alexander trying to rip off “Ταϊσε με τη σκόνη σου με το γοβάκι σου Καιτούλα” playing Wilhelm Reich’s son in the music video for Cloudbusting? About the last thing oversexed Alex needs is an orgone generator. The best thing you can hope for is that audiences “wake up crying” after falling asleep to an excruciatingly boring and pretentious movie they thought was going to be Terminator 2.

Έτοιμοι (freestyle poem)
by drs. Efthimia Dilpizoglou
(c)2014 all rights reserved

Ready steady go-ho
Ready steady go-ho

Είμαστε έτοιμοι
Η ομάδα είναι έτοιμη
Αντρες για όλα έτοιμοι
Ο ΑΔΑΜ ΣΑΤΑΝΙΣΤΑΣ ΟΙΜΟΙ
Για τις 100 δόσεις έτοιμοι
Για παροχή ρευστότητας έτοιμοι
Για δάγκωμα έτοιμοι
Για τα δύσκολα έτοιμοι
Για το Μέλλον έτοιμοι
Για το μεγαλύτερο έτοιμοι
Να πεθάνω δεν είμαι ακόμα έτοιμη
Σου `χω συγγνώμη έτοιμη
Φιόγκοι έτοιμοι
Πως δείχνετε στους άλλους ότι δεν είσαστε για σχέση έτοιμη;
3 σημάδια για να καταλάβεις αν είναι να προχωρήσει έτοιμη
Να στείλουμε και νέες ενισχύσεις είμαστε έτοιμοι
Να κερδίσουμε έτοιμοι
Αισιόδοξοι έτοιμοι
Οι κάτοικοι να εκραγούν έτοιμοι
Για κάθε είδους πόλεμο πρέπει να είμαστε έτοιμοι
Nα υπερασπιστούμε τη χώρα μας έτοιμοι
Είστε έτοιμη;

Ready steady go-ho
Ready steady go-ho